i cant read the same way i used to. i try to wade thru philosophical breakdowns of consciousness, the theories of various sciences, pseudo sciences and psychologies of the self, but i cant force myself thru it half the time. unless the writer is getting unhinged on pushing the boundaries, i have heard it before. i have read some other author who said a similar things or i find myself haggling with their semantics. most of the time it is turgid and dry commentary which makes for a hella boring life of study. eventually i said fuck it. numerous scholarly friends have tried to convince me that there is exciting new philosophy out there, or great new post cultural neo realists. i guess i feel like we've already stepped way beyond the kind of world that these systems of thought and philosophy were born from. even post modernism cannot keep up with the level of novelty flowing into the streams. could a medieval buddhist monk ever prepared himself for the onslaught of today's media mainstream? talk about confusing messages and tempatations.

it could be argued that the value in voracious reading is that the variety of intelligent meaning lattices can always enrich a cultural creator's pallette. this is true. reading certain authors, however, can lead to a futile sense of meaninglessness in a high paced and terrifying world. the tyranny of meaninglessness is the speciality of the postmodernists and the great altruistic task of the monastic. while post modernism can offer critical thinking skills, it may not be as easy for them to show you how to build a shelter or grind the axe to chop wood. the zen monk would be unlikely to be of assistance in re:formatting your harddrive or helping you get a girlfriend. half the time monks and post modernists are practically useless to almost everyone...they do, however, present us with some equally valuable skills for navigating the void. neither is complete in itself.

apologies to sarahmaya for unabashedly using one of her threads to tirade into the post academic neo reconstructionist retro re:futurism.

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"...drop off the grid altogether or try to redesign it with the tools you have?"

i have awkwardly lifted this quote from sarahmaya's friend annersjapaners (with ultimate respect). it works as an encapsulation of the dualism at the end of the theoretical maze. indeed. this is where you get to after you become bored of the postmodernists or too awash in a cultural miasma still oblivious to the flimsiness and emptiness of its constructs. it's an existential standstill. (with apologies for non traditional reference techniques) the gist being that post modernists imply:

"...there is no true escape, we are always-already situated within it, subject to it and can never achieve total freedom from it--but can at least strive for a heightened awareness of its limitations and dangers while we continue to use it." (also from annersjapaners)

the postemodernist authors seem sad. i dont know how they survived at all in such a dehabilitating system of thought: such a sad state of affairs for beings capable of unlimited imaginative potential, with the capacity to be able to experience novelty and participate in the consensual and collaborative generation of meaning and significance. why fight to uphold a vision of the world which would have us remain imprisoned by our own cultural constructs? even if it is not debatable in logic. why tire your mind with ever increasing levels of deconstruction? it's already dismantled. the question is what are you going to do with it now that it lays in fragmented pieces on your classroom floor?

being aware of dangers and limitations of language and thought is a crucial step towards protecting oneself from the pain of realizing that everything is empty, but it hardly addresses the urgent need to develop skills to cope with the meaninglessness of meaninglessness. eventually you have to build something out of the emptiness. how long can you hide in a zen koan and avoid hearing the trees falling? how long will you remain paralyzed by cold until you freakin chop that fallen tee into firewood and burn it? life in cycles.

the limitation of both of these types of thought is that they fail to recognize the inherent values of each other's approach to the dualism. utter indulgence in the mind and emptiness of the mind. who is more boring to talk to: a zen monk (serious style who might even cane you if you get the koan wrong) or a word spewing post modernist? they both have their flaws for sure. one too minimal one too full. does this sound crazy? the tyranny of the post modern approach to the prison of language is broken by the notion that we can build something from the rubble of the dying paradigms. the tools we have to communicate are just not yet honed enough. yes we know we are dealing with subtle matters here, we know that everything is empty and meaningless but at least we're doing something. it looks pretty boring in the monestary (i'm sure some would disagree, but isnt that just the subjectivity of things?)

the power of meditation is not to be underestimated. allowing ourselves to experience the emptiness of the no mind is a momentary refuge from the inescapable reality of experience. sure it becomes easier to be "spiritual" when you eliminate most elements of daily life. how blissful is a life without struggle? i guess it depends on how much you are intrigued and excited by a good challenge, or, how much life challenges you creating tension and struggle in the soul.

regardless of approach, the same existential challenge faces us all. in the most cliche questioning of the universe one can only explore why they are here. for what reason are we thrust into this visceral nightmare of violence and wild senses? language and media are tools of communication, but we still don't know what we are communicating or why. it seems as tho the deep exploration of our limits and possibilities is possibly the only true task we have. all the rest is automated response or indulgent habit induced by fear or craving.

perhaps the only real indicators we have of authentik experience, are our innate responses to beauty or ugliness. the rawness of immediate and instinctual sensation. we can examine this in retrospect and get closer to our future motivations by analyzing the patterns of the past. this is what we have always done. it is not safe to draw objective conclusions about anything. disregard everything i say. tomorrow it will change..

it is time to close the gap. cusp consciouness puts us on the perimter of what is fleshed out by words and theories. meditation helps to clear the mind for the most effective forms of experiential organization. post neo re:constructionist techniques require equal parts of training, discipline, ingenuity, stealth, creatvity, and a healthy dose of knowing when to let the myth dissolve.

when nothing has meaning, its up to you to create it.




those who tire of theory's endless mazes of reflection eventually get around to world building or die bitter and unempowered.